i am an introvert, it's true. but interestingly enough, i have discovered that there are two things that energize me the most. the first thing, is a deep experience with God. this happens mostly in nature. while i'm observing it and enjoying it. there is nothing better than a sunset, a sunrise, the wind, the color of the sky, the way the leaves fall, the green grass beneath my feet, the ripples in the waves. Our God is GOOD and his creation is more beautiful than anything i can ever create or imagine myself. i am so grateful for it. i don't think i would be as passionate a person without it.
the second thing, the interesting thing, that energizes me, is deep conversations with people that i care about. apart from nature and God himself, there is nothing better than coffee and a friend, or even an hour long phone conversation with someone you love. it's weird that this would energize me i've decided...but i don't mind. i enjoy the way i feel after speaking with someone at length.
sometimes the conversations are difficult, hard even...but i always learn and grow from them. sometimes, honesty brings me to new places in a relationship. i've learned that even though honesty can really be painful and sting for a bit, it always feels better to just get it on the table. why live life stewing about things? why be upset, hold on to hard feelings, and waste time on the bitter past? no more. i don't have time for that crap. it's time to blow the gates wide open and clean some house.
i have a few things to clean up. i intend to do it sooner than later. if you're not right with me, expect my knocking on your door. if i knock, it means i care about you and i want our relationship to work. if i've hurt you, i'm sorry. i'm not perfect and i'm trying to be a better friend and person. if you have suggestions for how i can be a better person and a better friend, i'm all ears. i can take constructive criticism, and i actually appreciate it. i am a believer in the fact that you can only change what you are aware of. there might be some things i don't even see that need some improvement. don't be afraid to let me know.
this probably sounds crazy and random and weird, but i'm serious. comfortable jackie doesn't want to be comfortable anymore. God has reminded me, once again, that life is about so much more than being comfortable. it's about being real. facing into things you don't want to. being a better person. living a better life. bringing others to a saving relationship with Christ.
are you with me?
do you want to stop being comfy, stop stuffing things, and start being honest with yourself and with others?
i was talking to a friend tonight who said we all just need to love each other more. She figured the world would be a better place if we did that. i think she's right.
let's do it together. i think it could be good.